The Great Barrier Reef

Hello again,

Hopefully this will be a shorter one as I haven't left it too long.

After a few weeks of seeing what Australia was like and as quickly as possible I managed to finally get to the dive boat fit and ready to dive. I had booked myself onto a liveaboard called Taka (http://www.taka.com.au/index.htm) for 4 days of diving on the outer reef away from the masses of snorklers and backpackers doing their PADI courses. This was a good choice as I have done enough diving to be called an experienced diver by some and the inner reef is swamped with huge party boats full of pissed up backpackers. Some of these boats carry as many as 450 people who they dump onto the reef daily. From the point of view of someone who likes their diving this is not ideal and it would have been a waste of money.

I found from other people that the conditions on the reef were fairly rough and had taken precautions by taking my sickness pills well in advance. The weather report read 25 to 30 knott winds with 2 to 3 metre waves and as I went to get picked up I noticed the wind was very strong and there was intermitant torrential rain. We were taken to the boat which was not full with 28 guests thanks to it still being early in the season. The boat was exactly as in the brochure and was absolutely fantastic. It was only a year old and had been designed specificaly for the trips made to the outer reef. Being very wide it was very spacious and comfortable as well as being bery stable. The first night was spent steaming out to the Cod Hole on the Northern Reef. We had a very nice dinner and had our briefing before being paired up with our buddies. This was the first time I had been diving abroad without my usual buddy Jon and I was hopeful that I would get someone half decent. Some people just buddied with the guy sitting next to them but I ended up being paired with someone with the most similar experience and this ended up being with a medical student from Taiwan called Michael. He seemed a bit quiet and we tried to have a chat but it didn't go very well. He seemed very preoccupied with what camera I had and proceeded to ask a lot of questions about me but was very dissapointed by my answers. I guess it was early days but he didn't seem very impressed with me and didn't want to relax and talk about anything normal. When he produced a PADI Master Scuba Diver card I thought, 'great he's at least got lots of experience, I'll be safe'.

The next morning we went for our first dive on the Cod Hole and all seemed ok. My air consumption was very high but I had expected that. I was a bit dissapointed with my buddy though as he didn't want to communicate at under water and generally swam around with his camera pressed against his mask. I had lost my bearings a bit but there was a system as always to retrieve divers who get a bit far from the boat. We came up a bit too far to swim and I signalled for a rib to come and tow us. This was really cool! Basically they fling a rope off the back and you hang on while they drag you along the surface. It was great I got to see the whole dive site again without swimming! Michael was less impressed as the rope 'made his hands hurt', ahh bless. He was also less than impressed with my air consumption and the fact that we had to end the dive all of 5 minutes before the 50 minute limit set by the boat. I can understand that but his rolling of eyeballs and look of disgust at 25 meters was not appropriate especially as he had decided we would swim off and look at nothing at around 29 meters for most of the dive.

This general level of communication went on for the next day and was a shame. Michael's issuing of instructions like 'I will go to 30 meters and I want you to stay at 20 watching me so you don't use too much air' went down really well too and I started to get nervous about the fact that I was paired up with the buddy from hell. Basically I felt nervous about being in the water with him and this culminated in me doing my favourite nervous trick of forgetting my weight belt! Hoorah! We had a long surface swim out to a bommie and when we went to descend.... well... I didn't! Michael on the other hand went all the way down ignoring my attempts to get his attention and dissapeared into the murky blue depths. Fantastic! I wasn't the only one. Another chap forgot too. The boat was swinging around like crazy and having been called back I had a hard swim. At the boat they asked where by buddy was.... 'He went down without me!'... 'What!'.... 'Yes I know!!!' So I put the belt on and basically had no option but to swim all the way out to find him as I couldn't leave him on his own. So I swam back out. Got stung all the way up the side of my head by a blue bottle jelly fish (christ that hurt) and descended solo after him with my face and neck stinging like mad. At least a solo descent was more pleasant than one with freak boy next to me. At the bottom I found him with his camera attached to his face photographing more rocks! He seemed uninterested in my presence and swam off. I have to say I was tempted to just swim off solo but didn't.

Anyway back on the boat he got bollocked as soon as we got back but didn't seem to get it. Being absolutely furious I went and simmered down for a bit and was told that there were 4 great whalers in the water. Grey Whalers are nice big proper mean looking sharks and I had done 2 completely solo surface swims... ok they may be harmless but I wasn't happy. Sharks like people flapping around on their own on the surface cos they think you're a seal and I had done a very good impression of a seal that day! Ah well I survived.

Chatting about the experience with another diver I found he was having similar trouble with his buddy and we arranged a switch. This was especially good for me as Michael was insisting on a guide for every dive because in his words 'I get lost under water a lot because I want to take pictures'. The guide turned out to be the Japanese guide laid on for the 2 Japanese speaking divers who also had cameras surgically attached to their heads and spent most dives swimming at great speed into people, fish and rocks to get the picture they wanted. One American diver expressed that he had contemplated grabbing one of their inflaters and sending them to the surface after being kicked in the face and barged one time too many. I was amazed on one dive to witness one of these guys swim up behind another diver, grab her tank and move her out of the way so he could get a picture of a shell or something! I was speechless! So I left Michael to carry on with his friends and buddied up with an American called Sean and had a thoroughly good dive trip after that. We may even hook up in the States and do a couple of dives when I get there. I had grown very tired of Michaels robot like personality and monosilabic conversation....FREAK! The relief was immense and I became so much more relaxed.

We did some good night dives too. On one in particular we kitted up way in advance of everyone else and had the pitch black reef all to ourselves nearly swimming into a nice white tip reef shark which appeared out of the dark looking for it's dinner. It was cool. The conditions were good under the surface but I must say the diving was a little underwhelming. The Red Sea is much better. It also made me realise how much I like wreck diving. As far as wind, waves and current go it was like diving in the UK. On the last night we had a very rough cruise outside the reef in very strong winds and a 3 metre sea. Not feeling very good in bed I went up on deck and hung onto the side rail whilst the boat swung violently through a full 90 degrees. My feet left the ground several times and walking around required short sprints between rails. I got completely soaked but had to stay out there for over an hour or else I was going to be very ill. Character building stuff as was the 6am dive the next morning. Diving is such a rediculous sport. Grown men and women dressing in rubber and jumping into shark infested rough cold water to take bad out of focus, under exposed pictures of shrimp! I think I must be a freak for enjoying it.

After 11 dives and a very rough steam home we arrived back in Cairns. The very rough conditions meant that we had not been able to go out to the shark feed as the captain decided it was too rough and unsafe... I dread to think what that would have been like. In port I was knackered. I had met some guys on the boat who were all dive masters having working the coast. Matteas from Switzerland, Wachim from Catalunia, and Daniel from Spain and we went to find a room at Leo's. It's a dodgey looking place but the guys are fun and I actually really like the place now. The owner is a cocky difficult guy at first but the place actually is very well run and has some character as well as being cheap and in the centre of town. In true diving fashion the drinking began quite early and after a while we were joined by others from the boat including an Aussie from Sydney called Gerard who was gonna show us how it's done and drink us under the table with his drinking games. He looked a bit like Chris Isaaks but was a complete dick and after about 3 hours he was stumbling around dribbling over one unwelcoming girl after another uncharming them with his incomprehensible bollocks. It was so funny to watch. Matteas and Wachim were flagging a bit too by now and went home while Gerard dissappeared into the dissabled toilet.

Me and a few others including the party animal Daniel went to the Woolshed. This is the local meat market full of English and Irish. The evening went on till the early hours and I managed to avoid several fights. It's such a crap hole. Next day we met up with Sean and went to spend our hangovers at the cinema. I also met up with Diana the Dane who I had met on the trip to Darwin which was cool. And that's where I am now, in Cairns and thinking of ways to fill in the time before I head off to chilly New Zealand on Tuesday.

This was supposed to be a short email but so much for that. Thanks for the emails it was good to hear from people.

All my love,

Kaveh.

Sydney, Alice, Darwin and Cairns

And so the western world approaches!

As my time in Asia came to an end I didn't have much time to reflect on my time there. Back in Bangkok myself and Anett had 3 days to do some shopping and post stuff home whilst also enjoying the last few days of each others company. As usual Bangkok was it's crazy nonstop self and so the time flew by. It was great to be back there after Myanmar but I felt it was time for me to move on and I moved my flight forward a little to make my schedule a bit more relaxed. Anett was unable to change her flight and would travel to southern of Thailand to relax for the remainder of her trip. The last 3 days were fun with lots of food, shopping and time spent with the family and the friends I had made. It did feel a little weird that I would be leaving Anett behind though. I had become very used to travelling with her and we had become very good friends.

The night before I left Bangkok we went for dinner with with Toom her brother Chai and his girlfriend Joom at a really good seafood place on the Chao Praya River. It was good fun and I went through most of a bottle of whiskey with Chai. Next day it was time to go though and we hardly even had time to say goodbye. It felt very strange saying goodbye and as I went to the airport in the taxi I felt that I really wasn't ready to leave. I had enjoyed Asia far more than I had anticipated. It is such a lively, colourful and friendly part of the world. The culture is incredible. For me the northern areas of Vietnam, Laos and Thailand had been the highlights with the north of Laos being the most amazing place I have ever been to. Vietnam had been so interesting and it had been so much fun travelling with the group I had. It's a very special country with very special people. Cambodia was a surprise and Ankor Wat is the most amazing temple. People say Bagan is better but sorry, it just doesn't compare. Thailand is so much fun. You can do so much, eat such great food and have so much fun for such little money. It's so diverse with the relaxed islands in the south, the noise, smells and crazy transport of Bangkok and the fantastic chilled out mountains in the north. For me though Laos was the best country. I say that reluctantly as tourism will change the county so much in the coming years, but it is an amazing contrast to what we are used to in the west with many people still living village life in bamboo huts. The Mekong river and it's attributaries are at their most beautiful there too. I am already thinking about spending the whole of February there next year. Myanmar was hard work and very strange but also very interesting and in dire need of change. It's very sad to see people living such a messed up life under such a rediculous regime.

So off to Sydney and no more 'No haaave', no more 'You waan eehhgg (you want egg)?'. No more rice wine, tuk tuk, or 'Hey Mr! Where you go today?' Even getting on the plane I noticed a huge change. Large people!!! Jesus I haven't seen large people for 4.5 months! It's a bit of a shock to the system but all of a sudden they're everywhere and kind of hurt your eyes. I'm very surprised at my reaction. The flight to Singapore is good but I started to get the serious blues as we got further away from Asia. Arriving in Sydney was very weird for me. It started with the rediculous form you have to fill out. The questions are so anal and I got the feeling that this place is so strict. There were sniffer dogs everywhere in customs and police with guns and there is an air of mistrust about the people quizing you that makes you feel very unwelcome. I felt very aggraphobic and did't want to leave the airport. I think I've gone ferrel!

At the backpacker hostel a teenaged spotty backpacker handed me an A4 sheet of house rules and I got the distinct impression that I was supposed to be grateful that I had parted with a large sum of cash to stay in what turned out to be a smelly dorm packed with 18-20 year old gap year hormone charged backpackers mostly from England. It felt like my first day in student halls all over again! I walk into my 4 share room to find a teenagers bedroom. It looked like typhoon tracey just came through with dirty socks hanging everywhere and empty pot noodle cartons on the floor. It has that smell of teenaged boys who have been out drinking. A bit like a dustbin! What the F***! am I doing here. I want my bamboo hut!!! Why did I change my flight! It's not even cheap at 24 aussie dollars....10 quid. I really miss Anett being around too. I keep wondering where she is. Things weren't looking good. The reverse culture shock is huge.

After some sleep I ventured out to see what the city I've heared so much about is like. At first impression it felt like a cross between Singapore and Watford! That's not a complement. Sydney is packed with English people who are mostly sleeping through the day and pissed at night. There's even a kebab shop! It's so expensive after Asia and also much more expensive than other travellerse lead you to believe. Walking around the harbour lifted me a bit. It's quite nice but it's tiny!!! Photographers and super wide angle lenses have a lot to answer for. I mean.... it really is diddy! The opera house is just a little funny shaped white building. The bridge isn't that amazing either and costs a bomb to climb....so I didn't. The sky is cool though and it's very sunny with crazy clouds. I'm freezing.... It's so cold after Asia. The harbour reminds me a bit of Reykjavik actually and the view of the houses on the hills surrounding it look like the house around Harfnafjordur in Iceland too. I spent the next few days eating Vietnamese and Thai food and getting my camera gear sorted. That was actually quite nice as I had my working head on which offers a different perspective. The pro camera shops and service centres were very good and the people were good to talk to. Which brings me to Aussies.... hmmmm... in Sydney they're a pretentious bunch and listening to an Aussie try to sound sophisticated is quite funny cos....well.... they're not. In fact it's pretty dull. I did consider writing about the things I like here but I don't like it enough so sorry!

Anyway, not knowing what to do I decided to book some activities and tours as I had limited time. I decided to fly to Alice Springs and then get a bus and camping tour of the red centre and then another up to Darwin on the Stuart Highway followed by some serious diving on the Great Barrier Reef. I had wanted to do the west coast but couldn't make it work in my schedule if I wanted to dive the Barrier Reef.

The landing in Alice was a bit crazy. I really thought he was gonna smack a wing on the runway and it was like a roller coaster all the down. Thankyou Quantus! Internal flying here is another expensive shock. A similar flight in Europe would cost a lot less. And so another backpacker place called Melanka's which again I didn't like. Alice Springs is the first time I see Aborigonal people and it's very clear that there are some problems here. The Aborigonal people look lost in their own country and there appears to be a lot of racism with a lot of white Australians appearing to be uncomfortable with their barefoot presence in the pristine modern town centre. A lot of Aborigonal people are drunk through the day and ask for cigarettes or money on the street. It's not nice to see and just feels very wrong.

The hostel is again full of pissed up backpackers but the next morning we head out on our tour at 6am. The tour is 3 days camping around Uluru (Ayer's rock), The Olgas, and Kings Canyon. At last I started to relax as we hit the road on long drives and camped out under the stars by the fire in swags which are like a big travelling roll up beds. The campsites are very well organised and setup for tourists and this seems to be the best way to see Oz rather than the hostels.

I enjoyed the travelling and camping more than the sites. The semi arid landscape is interesting but doesn't change much. I have never been able to see so far and see so much sky anywhere else on land before which is especially nice at night as you can see so many stars and at lease 1 or 2 shooting stars each night. I didn't climb Uluru as the Aboriginals don't like it. It's not the climbing that worries them, it's injuries and deaths that are the problem. They believe that the rock is inhabitted by the spirits of their ancestors and if you die there your spirit will stay on the rock with them which could be a bit weird for your spirit I should think as well as the ancestors. The rock is ...well ...a big rock and is another underwhelming site even if it does glow at sunset. Kings Canyon is a rather small Canyon and I actially found the Olgas the most beautiful site but it is all so touristy with coach loads of Japanese people pulling into Uluru, getting off the bus and walking straight up it. Any opertunity to meet with Aborigonal people seems to be through tours unless you want to stay here for a long time as they are understandable very mistrusting of us lot.

I met some nice people on the tour though. After the 3 days we had another very messy night back at Melanka's which ended in us setting fire to Sambuka in our mouths for about 5 rounds after going through several bottles of red wine. I went to bed at 3.30 and got up at 4.30 ready for the 5.30 start on our 3 day trip to Darwin!!! It was quite painful. The bus was big and comfortable. Of course I managed to be the only person to have a stranger next to me and he turned out to be a weirdo. A Danish weirdo who complained about everything. I always get the weirdos! He also snored a lot but only loud enough for me to hear! Bastard! The driver and guide was a bush man called Reg and he would drive whilst giving a dry, relaxed and very well informed comentary. He was a real Mick Dundee type and I found him very funny. On the surface he seemed a bit of a shoveanistic macho Aussie bloke but he actually knew a lot about the country and did a lot of work with Aborigonal kids. We spent the next 3 days looking at the endless bush, hearing about the history of the Stuart highway and stopping in tiny towns 'to say gooday!' some towns have a population smaller than that on the bus. The camping was good and the people on the bus were nice too.

Arriving in Darwin I could feel that I was not well. In fact I had been ill for a few days after we had a couple of snotted germ ridden Brits on the tour with us around Uluru. By the next morning I had a chest infection and had to miss the Kakadoo and Litchfield tour which I had booked and paid for with no refund. I also had to cancel some diving I was due to do 5 days later as I would not be well enough but they refunded me so not all bad. Instead I relaxed at the very nice but pricey hostel called Cavanagh. I spent a couple of days hanging out with a Danish girl called Diana who I had met on the tour. We walked to the Darwin Museum and also hired a car for the day which we spent driving around Litchfield national park. I spent the next day in the pool at the hostel and sat through the torrential rain and thunder storm in the pool with a rather amusing girl from near High Wycombe called Emma. I hired a car again the next day with Alex, Sabrina and Jackie from the tour and we went to the Didg hut which is where you can buy and learn to play a proper didgeridoo. I hadn't wanted to buy one before but then me and Alex, an Italian bloke, seemed to be naturals so I ended buying a rather nice one and posting it home. I am hemouraging money in Oz!

At last I left Darwin having almost recovered and went to Cairns to prepare for some diving on Taka Dive, the most descent boat I could find on the reef and the only one that seemed to be catering for experianced divers rather than throwing people in and out of a Padi course. I got a pretty crap hostel though. It had a damp problem which set my lungs off again and after 2 days there I had to leave and postpone the diving trip for another week which also pushed my flight to New Zealand back 10 days....more time in Oz! Aggghh! So I checked into a better place in the centre of town. It was a nice place and I slept OK but it was another party dorm and one of my Italian room mates brought a girl back for the night whilst my Korean friend who I had met on the Darwin trip was subjected to an all night threesome in his room and a repeat performance foursome the following night. Poor TK is not used to that sort of thing in Korea. 'I wish I could do that he said' he said 'but it's shameful in our culture'. I found this very amusing. He was completely bemused my some of our western behaviour.

Getting a little bored and needing something to do whilst convelessing I hired a car and got out of town. First I headed up the coast to Cape Tribulation. I got a Mazda 2 which turned out to be the most amazing little car I have ever driven. It looks like postman pats van but is like a tardis inside and drives like a rallycar. It had aircon, a great stereo and I could get all my gear out of sight. Sorry I'm getting excited about a Mazda but it was a great car. The road up to Cape Trib was amazing too with a long fast section that follows the coast and I got a bit carried away. Cape Trib itself was very nice and the ferry is sweet if expensive. There are amazing sandy beaches and endless rainforest. It's so tropical and so quiet. A little boring on your own though. I did meet some people but had decided to see as much as I could with the car and moved pretty quick. Next day I drove down again past Cairns to Townsville. The scenery was very good and the drive good too. That was until I got done by a speed camera 1 hour north of Townsville. I was on a long straight section in the middle of the Sugar Cane fields and the copper was sat in his jeep in the pitch black in a ditch off the road. Seeing the flash go off I turned around and went back to have a chat. He was quite happy about it all and informed me with a big smile that the camera was set at 111kph but I had been doing 112kph. I was composed on the outside but wanted to smash the camera on the front of his jeep. That means a $180 fine from the police and a $100 fine from the car hire company!! Bollocks! Later when returning the car I was informed that quite a few people get 5 or 6 in one trip. I got a positive bargain then. I'm still pissed off. I've never been done for speeding.

In Townsville I stopped in the hostel area late. I had been driving for about 8 hours. I saw a funny little place and went in. The woman came to reception smelling like a brewery and I reluctantly took a room but it turned out to be the best place I have stayed. It's called Globetrotters. It was quiet and full of girls!!! Cool. In the morning I recounted my police story to the owners and they spewed venom about the police 'Bloooody Nazi's!!!'....'They f**king take the piss....hiding in the f**king bushes'....'Baaastards!' And off I went down the coast 3 hours to Airlie beach with more lovely scenery and funny little towns like Ayr where country music blares out of the pubs and jeriatric men in hats sit on benches clutching a walking stick. A lot of Oz is like a retirement home. The east coast is a bit like a giant East Anglia. Airlie is the place to get to the Whitsunday islands and whilst I didn't have time to do a tour I did have a look around for the afternoon and it's beautiful with turqoise water, white sands, forrested hills and pristine white yahts in the harbour. I had some fish and chips (not as good as home) and headed back up to Townsville but arriving late I didn't manage to get a room in the same place and went to another small place. Again it was very good. In the morning a young bloke working in the hostel for his keep asked for a lift and I said ok but had to wait. As I checked out I said to the owner I'm giving that lad a lift. The very nice owner said 'Mate just go now!'...'He's a bloody bludger .... I caaan't wait for 'im to leave!!'. 'Oh!!!...cheers mate!!' and off I went. The people in Townsville seemed nicer than anywhere in Oz so far and were very helpful which I have found unusual here. Aussies love rules. It's one of those places where everyone has their own space just how they want it and everyone has rules. 'Ya caaan't paark there!'.... 'That'll be a fine of 2 dollars for staying 2 days longer than you said you would'....'What!!!'. Yes that happened in Sydney. I got fined for giving them more business.

I spent the day driving back to Cairns via the tablelands and more fantastic mountainous roads which I enjoyed in the little Mazda. Cairns is where I am now waiting to get on the dive boat after driving 2000 kms in 4 days. I'm pretty much back to normal health and am looking forward to seeing the reef and diving again. I stayed in a really nice hostel called Bohemia last night and met some nice people too so I'm in a better mood than when I arrived in Oz. I am so glad I never did the year out backpacker thing when I was 18 though. I don't think I would have enjoyed it. Anyway I'd better sign off and prepare myself for the slightly rough seas we've been having up here.

I'm missing you all very much so get in touch with any news.

Love,

Kaveh.

Bangkok, The Islands and Myanmar

So we had arrived in Bangkok after a crazy trip. I met up with my cousin Kian which was very nice. I also met up with my Aunt Keyvan who was in Bangkok on some kind of shopping marathon and we too did a load of shopping. It doesn't matter how much time you spend in Bangkok, you will always do more shopping. Also I took Anett to experience some of the fun things in town as she had not enjoyed Bangkok so much in the past. 3 or 4 days is usually enough in Bangkok though and after we had really had enough. We had decided to go to Koh Chiang in the gulf of Thailand and then to Myanmar formerly known as Burma via Bangkok.

After getting our 30 day visas for Myanmar we headed off from Ekammai bus station and took the bus to Trat which was a 5 hour bus ride for 200 BAHT. Then there is a ferry to Koh Chiang. Anett had not been at her best for a couple of days. Whilst she is great fun she often has moods but this time she seems to have hit a travelling wall. Her mood is awful and rather than it being water off of duck's back I've had enough. It's not a good day and in the end I have to confront her about this. Myanmar is a very difficult place and I don't think she is really up to it. After a chat though it all seems ok. I think she is missing her boyfriend very much as well so I guess we'll see how it goes. After finding a bungalow and getting a nights sleep we go looking for stuff to do the next day. To be honest I was very exhausted by Anett's changes of mood and being happy for 2 had made me so tired so my mood didn't pick up. We found a snorkel trip for the next day though and booked it and also decided to change island to Koh Wai after the trip.

In the meantime we got some snorkel gear and hired a Kayak for the afternoon. Koh Chiang was very beautiful but it had left us both quite flat as it felt as though the adventure of travelling was over and we were on a holiday island where couples sunned themselves like sausages on the beach. The kayaking was good fun though and we arsed around a lot and began to laugh again. The sea and beaches here are fantastic and the water is so perfect for swimming. That evening we went along the sea front to a bar with fires and candles and good music. The food was aso fantastic but the place was empty. The previous night we had gone to a much busier place on the beach called Porn's bungalows but it was a bit weird with wealthy tourists trying to be cool now they were out of the office. You know the kind of thing. Everyone dancing like your dad at a wedding. There were very cool looking fire dancers all dressed in black and stuff like that. But tonight the quiet place was much nicer. The food was amazing!!! And the fire dancers, whilst not being all dressed up were seriously good... I've never seen any that good before! They were just in jeans and t-shirts and were local lads. One in particular was incredible! Anett is a real piromaniac and starts a fire at any opertunity, so she loved it.....thank goodness.

Next morning we headed off for our snorkelling trip. There was a group of Thai weekenders on a corporate do on the boat and as we set off they started on the wine! 9.30 am, 36 degrees, on a boat...mmmmm someone's gonna get sick. It took about 45 minutes I think!! Ew! The tour leaders were pretty loud and have a megaphone. One of them is the gayest man I have ever seen. He's quiet tall, and then there was a tall lady boy who screamed all the time, and a short man with thick glasses and a perm that Kevin Keagen would admire. (He reminded me of Ani a bit...those of you from Brunel will know what I mean). He was also wearing cycling shorts and was so camp it's untrue. They were having a riot and the only thing I can liken it too is a Thai version of Hi Di Hi campers! Anett quietly pointed out a German woman who was baking herself on the deck to a crisp who was really quite revolting but just kept on roasting all day despite her skin falling off. It was all very bizarre.

The snorkelling however was great. In the words of Anett, 'Zee vater is piss varm ya!' (Is this 'Hi Di Hi' or 'Allo Allo'). We were out all day and the sea and reefs were very good. The food was good too. After a long day the boat headed back and half way we were summoned to the rib at the back for our transit to our new island....just us 2...it was cool. We climbed in and headed off at very high speed toward the island of Koh Wai. The water was very choppy and it was a very cool ride and a long one too. As we rounded the island the water went dead flat and clear as glass and we zoomed into the most amazing bay and beach I've ever seen and beached the boat in true James Bond fashion. We got a bamboo hut on the beach and got a rest. It had been a great day but we were absolutely shattered having not fully recovered from Laos. I've lost a hell of a lot of weight and our bodies really need some recovery time. Unfortunately the seafood from the snorkel trip has poisoned me again....OH JOY! I had a really rough night.

The beach holiday blues don't go away and we are both bored and soon on our way back. The journey back to Bangkok was a disaster too as the bus ran out of fuel and it took so long to sort out. Eventually switching buses it took 10 hours to get back to Bangkok. We are flying to Yangon in Myanmar the next day so we really needed a break. I had already rescheduled all my flights. I was due to fly to Sydney instead but the Shirdel - Brummer team was not done in Asia.

So we got cleaned up, had a sleep and headed to the airport. What will we find in Yangon? I had no idea but had read as much as I could and knew that it would be a tricky place. The government is very oppressive. We landed in the tiny airport and it was baking hot as we got off the plain. As we walked to the terminal a military fighter flew over reminding me that Myanmar has a military government. All went smoothly and as we went through an Italian man was telling us how he didn't trust the exchange in the airport. He was a total weirdo though so we didn't listen as he was off to trade on the black market. I decided to change $50 into Jet (spelt Kyat). Unfortunately my Lonely Plant was not up to date and this turned out to be a big mistake. We climbed into a taxi and were driven to a guesthouse in the centre of town. The town was very quiet and pretty to start with but got dirtier and crazier as we got near the centre. The taxi driver was mortified that we had changed money in the airport. It turns out that the government use an exchange rate of 450 Kyat to the dollar but the black market rate was 900 kyat!!! So we essentially lost half our money... NICE! I was a little shocked as I had not brought a lot of money with me and realised that to get more money into the country with a credit card I would have to use the governemt exchange rate. The driver tried very hard to sell us his services for the duration of our trip as this is often a good way to get around but we wanted to do our own thing so said goodbye at the guesthouse.

The first guesthouse was very dirty and the people running it looked dirty so we tried another and whilst ok it was not great for the price at $8 for a double room.... well compared to what we were used to anyway. We decided to not make anymore mistakes and to sort everything else out at the guesthouse. We found that we were up against a very difficult and corrupt system though. International flights are all out of Yangon now with none flying from Mandalay and this meant that we would have to come back to Yangon to leave which was a shame. So we booked our flights and the 14 hour night bus to Mandalay for the next day. Looking around the town the first thing you noticed was the strong Indian influence with many Indian people. Also the reaction of the people to a foreigner which was much stronger than we were used to. This is due to the county's internation reputation and the lack of tourism. Also much of the country is inaccessible to tourists espescially the Mon regions in the east where the terrain is too difficult for them to be governed and so the government don't want the outside world to see these areas. People stare at you in the street or in Anetts case, men stare at her breasts literally salovating.

The city is busy, hot and very very very dirty. Oh and it smells like shit too. Anett's not happy here and I have to say there's not a lot to do or see. The city has not really got any charm. Visually it's very interesting but the atmosphere is one of decay and poverty and all of this in a very rich country. Laos is much poorer but there is a great dignity to the people there and in Vietnam. The people here seem so sluvnely and down trodden. The food is pretty bad too unless you like bad Indian food served cold. We did't stay long though and the next day we took the overnight bus to Mandalay. The bus was big and comfortable and as we set off, the roads were flat. The drive was fast and there was some crazy western music sung in Burmese on the TV. As it got dark we moved across some incredible scenery with fields and palm trees and people travelling my cow and cart. The country was looking much more interesting now.

We were the only foreigners on the bus and the locals weren't sure how to take us. They looked at us shily without saying much. The bus made a food stop in the late evening and we were hearded off into the road stop. Several bus loads were there eating and again we were the only foreigners as most people fly this trip. The old man who owns the place was very happy to see us and his English was very good. He was a big like an Indian Santa Clause with lots of kids running around serving tables like little helpers. The food was cold but smelt ok and tasted good. Burmese food is the meanest and least sophisticated I've ever had. It's like slop with badly cooked rice with a plate full of roar dry vegetables and a watery curry. It always comes with a soup though and tastes ok but leaves you wondering when, rather than if, you will be sick. The journey carried on through the night and we made many more food stops which are also a chance for me to warm up from the ice cold air conditioning on the bus which has been freezing me. The journey felt fast and almost as if we are running away from something as we passed convoys of goods in trucks, changing tires by the side of the road. Punctures are very frequent it seems.

Mandalay in the morning is chilly and a blue taxi (tiny blue Mazda pick up seen all over the towns)took us to our guesthouse. We found a room and it was very clean and a nice place. Needing to change money we found a black market exchange. This felt very dodgey and the owner was very nervous about being caught. It would be big trouble for them if they were. I got a good rate and after unsuccessfully trying to access our email through an illegal proxy service we went to look around town. Things are expensive here compared to what we have become used to, especially food. Money is going to be a problem I think.

Mandalay has an amazing fort in the centre which is now also a baraks. It's where the palace was before the British came and is amazing to look at and huge. We spent a day looking round and took a trishaw after climbing Mandalay Hill. The next day we took a tour and were joined by an elderly Indian lady who was very jolly. The tour took us to a monastary where the monks have a daily ceremony collecting there food. If Myanmar has one thing it's monks. They're everywhere and the money invested by the government in temples is way of appeasing the people. There is a fantastic bridge over the river too which is a tourist spot and men working the fields with 2 cows and a wooden plough. It's like going back 500 years.

Mandalay is also very dirty and the food hadn't gotten any better. We went for a meal at a local place and were pleased that the food looked good. We ate a lot and it did taste good but some of the vegetables smelled of putrid water and the lamb was definately mutton having gone blue! I seemed to be ok but the next day Anett was having problems. We were off to Bagan by bus and being ill was not good. It's an 8 hour bus ride through the midday sun. The landscape is incredible with barron sandy desert broken by huge palm trees and with bright scorching sunshine. It's very hot but the draft through the bus was plenty to keep us cool. Bagan is a plane in the desert where for hundreds of years the rulers of the country have built stuppas and temples so now there are literally hundreds as far as the eye can see. We checked into a local guesthouse which was very basic but really nice and clean with nice people. Tourists don't stay there which was better for us. We were tired though and Anett went to sleep while I went to get some dinner and look around. At last I found a good place to eat with Indian, Nepalese, Tibetan and Myanmar food called 'Wonderful Tastey Resaurante'. It's run by a stocky happy man who says 'People come here and have a big meal and feel happy so I am happy...mmmm!' It's only a wooden hut with some tables and chairs outside but he is very proud of the fact that he has his own vegetable garden and cleans everything with purified water. Also he makes the food after you order it so it's hot and fresh and you get plenty too. He makes no appologies for it taking time as this is the only way to prepare good food and the food is excellent.

On returning to the guesthouse the owner came to me and said 'I think your friend has Malaria!'....'WHAT!'.. In Anett's room I found her curled up in agony on her bed, drenched in sweat and in tears. Turned out that she had pretty bad food poisoning. It was a long night and in the morning it was clear that she didn't want to go on and we would have to get to Bangkok ASAP so while she recovered I went off to try and make arrangements to leave Myanmar. It was not going to be as easy as I thought though. We had bought a bus ticket to Lake Inle which was not refundable and if we couldn't change the flight we would have to take a 16-18 hour bus to Yangon as we only had enough money for 1 flight and a couple of nights accomodation. We would just about manage to eat on what we had. I managed to change the flight the next day and not needing to book another flight out of the country we booked an internal flight with Yangon airways. Sounds dodgey but it's a private airline which is much better than Air Myanmar who have a quite outstanding record for letting their planes fall out of the ski. This all happened in the space of an hour and we were booked on a flight leaving in an hour and a half so we got in a taxi and waved the very helpful guesthouse owner goodbye.

The flight went well but the approach into Yangon was very hairy. It really felt like we were gonna fall out of the ski in the small ATR72 turbo prop. There were only 6 passengers in the nearly empty plane and I don't think I was the only one to grab a sick bag. We got down ok though. The guesthouse staff were a little surprised to see us and we asked for our plane tickets which they handed over. I told the woman we had changed them. We had asked her to change them when in Bagan but she said she had not been successful which is why I had rung and changed them myself. She looked very worried and hurridly called the agent. It seemed that the person I had spoken didn't know the system and had told me I had changed the flight but in truth nothing had happened and Phuket airlines had no idea about the change. This was such bad news as we had very little money left apart from some Thai Baht. Also Anett really wanted to get out and the prospect of 7 days in Bagan and the dreadful exchange rates on credit cards was too much. Our upset was very obvious and so the woman took us across town on the bus to sort a new flight in person. Thankfully an hour later the situation was resolved without the need for a 'little present' or a bribe in our language. You often pay little presents in myanmar without knowing and I'm sure that the money skimming on top of normal fees has hindered our situation more than anything.

We had a day to kill in Yangon and so I suggested that we try blagging some free luxury. We went for a coffee and snack and then crossed over to the Trader's Hotel, the poshest place in town, and went up to the pool. We looked pretty shitty next to everyone else. I was asked for my room number but just told them I had just checked out. The girls English was not so good so when she persisted I fained confusion and an inability to understand which left her flustered and so we got some ice water brought over and I dipped into the roof top pool to cool in the hot midday sun. After an hour though she was back with a clip board and paper. We'd been rumbled. I fained confusion which worked but I knew it wouldn't for long so we scarpered and had afternoon tea downstairs. We checked out the shopping mall which consisted of about 12 shops one of which had a ruby necklace for $500,000!!! with children sleeping on the street outside. so strange. We then walking past the cinema and decided to see a film. We had a little wait so we went to the coffee shop and I realised we were very short of cash and a bit more would make for a fun day so I left Anett in the shop and went to find a black market money changer on a street corner. They see you before you see them and I negotiated as I walked with a man who took me to a side street where he spoke to a man who said 'you have Baht'....'Yes'.....'Wait here'. Whilst he was gone the other man said...'You know this is illegal'....'Yes don't worry I'll be descreet'....'It's very dangerous for us', he was very nervous and understandably so. But I got my Kyat and some dollars for the exit tax at the airport and went back for a coffee and some cake after exchanging thanks. It was well worth the poor exchange rate of Baht to Kyat as we needed cheering up. Anett was much cheerier after our cheeky adventure in the hotel.

We went to the cinema and 'National Treasure' was showing in English. The cinema was really nice and had super cold air conditionijng which was welcome in the 40 degree heat. To our surprise the national anthem started and everyone stood up and we followed. Very funny! Then there was 30 minutes of millitary marching display shot on really bad super 8 with commentary. This is compulsory (I had also seen it on kids TV that day with missle displays and tank drills!!!!) and another reminder of the state of the government. The film was great!!!! Such good fun. The Myanmar people don't wait for a film to finish though and got up and started leaving. When the lights came on the place was trashed with a carpet of sunflower seed shells and the cleaning process began. Ahhh!...that was the crunching noise though the film!

In great mood we popped over to the Traders to crash the lobbies daily live piano music and then headed home for an early night along the dirty streets covered with fresh, bright red beetle nut spit. Burmese people have such bad teeth because of that stuff. Their mouths are stained bright red. Next morning we take the most smashed up falling apart car I have ever seen to the airport. The drivers anoying detour is a major annoyance and makes us nervous as the road turns out to be blocked meaning the journey is twice as long....I'm getting really fed up with this place!! But sure enough we get there and the plain goes. The relief of being in Bangkok is so great. When the plane touches down the feeling is fantastic and we were even shoved in 1st class .... never been in 1st class before! I managed to bring my flight to Sydney forward but Anett couldn't change hers and so we had another 3 days in which to relax and enjoy Bangkok before saying goodbye. Anett was very happy to be out of Myanmar and I guess I was too. I would have liked to have stayed and seen Inle but Anett has been a fantastic travel companion and there's no way I'd have left her to leave on her own. For me it had been interesting to see the place and although some people say it's wrong to go there I think it's important to come out and tell people what you have seen. Things are very bad there and something desperately needs to be done. We had been careful not use government services or hotels and the people had often been very sweet. We had seen the temples of Bagan (oooops left that bit out, we did actually get to see them) and I will remember the little dumb girl who showed us around. She was very sweet and had an amazing smile, and was a pretty good business woman too!

So anyway the asian adventure was coming to a close and I would soon be off to Sydney and Australia which I hope to tell you about soon.

I hope you're all well. I'm still not sure when I'll be home as plans keep changing.

Love Kaveh.